Who developed Imago Relationship Therapy?
Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love you Want, Keeping the Love you Find and (with wife, Helen Hunt) Giving the Love that Heals developed Imago Relationship Therapy. The word Imago was taken from the Latin word for "image." Dr. Hendrix developed this theory based upon the belief that the way we behave in relationships as adults is directly linked to the way in which our mother, father and other caretakers expressed themselves to us when we were children.
What is Imago Relationship Therapy?
Imago Relationship Therapy, often referred to as "Imago," is a unique form of counseling that allows the therapist and clients to work as a team. The team works together to uncover the true issues that fuel arguments, bitterness, resentment and hurt feelings. Using this model, the therapist assumes the role of coach and facilitator. The therapist guides the couple through difficult conversations and helps them to communicate more effectively in order to recapture the connection and passion that initially attracted them to each other.
Using a process called Couples Dialogue, the couple learns a new way to talk with each other that allows them to both hear and be heard by their partner. This is a relatively structured process that, when facilitated by the Imago Therapist, allows couples to connect the challenges they are currently facing with experiences they had while growing up. Rather than "blaming" parents, Imago uses the childhood experience as a treasure trove of information to examine how we chose our specific partners and why we react to them in the way we do.
Another unique feature of Imago is the absence of blame assigned to either partner. By viewing the couple through the Imago "lens," the therapist sees that both individuals are people who are hurting and have not had the opportunity to learn to love and be loved in a way that is gentle, healing and safe.
There is no place for blame or criticism in a loving relationship. Imago Therapy teaches couples the skills they lack in order to get what they need and give what their partner requires. John Gottman, a world-renowned marriage researcher, describes the "four horsemen" of the marital apocalypse (predicting divorce) as criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling." Through the consistant use of Intentional Dialogue, and the guidance of a Certified Imago Therapist, couples learn to rid their relationship of these four specters of marital doom.
