Professional Philosophy
My professional philosophy is based upon the belief that by increasing self awareness about when and why an individual reacts negatively in particular situations, or with certain people, that person then has the ability to choose how to respond to that situation rather than just react instinctively (perhaps aggressively or hurtfully.) I apply this philosophy when working with individuals, couples and in the classes I teach. I also hold the core belief that all people want to have more positive experiences with others than negative ones. What can get in the way are habits and patterns of behavior we have developed over the course of our lives. We often develop these in childhood in order to protect or bolster ourselves. While these may have worked well in childhood, they often hinder our adult lives.
For example, perhaps you had a close friend growing up, who you told all your secrets to. One day, this friend told one of your secrets to a bunch of other kids and you were embarrassed. You decided you were never going to let that happen to you again. As an adult, you may not even think about that situation, but when you get close to someone, you pull away and don't confide or share with them. Perhaps others tell you that you are distant and cold. You are not really aware of why you do this, but you do it anyway (to protect yourself, often unconsciously) and your relationships suffer. By increasing your awareness of what is going on that causes you to pull away, you have a choice of how to respond in future situations. You could decide to pull away anyway, you could tell the other person your uncomfortable with sharing or confiding in them, you could tell the other person that despite your discomfort, you will confide in them on the condition they do not share with anyone else. By having these choices (or any others you come up with) you have control over your actions and decisions in any situation.
I am passionate about helping my clients become more aware, not only for their own benefit, but ultimately for the benefit of those they love and care about. By becoming more self aware and learning new communication and behavioral skills, others respond differently to them, creating a "ripple" effect of more positive relationships. I do not limit the meaning of "relationships" to only family and people close to you. My definition of "relationship" includes any other person you come in contact with throughout your day: the cashier at the grocery store, the receptionist at the doctor's office, co-workers and even other drivers on the road. In other words, a relationship is formed any time you interact with another, in any way, no matter how short a period of time and whether or not words are spoken.
